I can’t do algebra. I don’t understand it. There are a bunch of X’s, Y’s, other letters and numbers. You have to figure out what they equal. And why? I never really cared what they equaled. It never made any sense to me. I would say “I don’t understand why we have to take algebra. I’m never going to use it.”

I occasionally skipped the class to run to Sonic and get a drink which certainly didn’t’ help me learn. I feel bad now because our teacher was so nice and I showed him my ugly side. I didn’t get it and I never saw the importance of it…until now!

You know what? I’m so glad I took algebra! It taught me a very valuable lesson. It taught me positives cancel out negatives. Did you know that?  And I use it every day of my life! So I did need algebra.

Madden assures me this isn’t exactly correct. But whatever! That’s what stuck with me and I like it. He can do algebra his way and I’ll do it mine. Besides it changed my life. Algebra changed my life. Who knew? I bet my algebra teacher would be proud I learned so much! Just think what else I could have learned if I would have given 100 percent.

A positive cancels out a negative. The negative is the ugliness and craziness in your life – the hurt, disappointment, anger, sadness, etc. If we allow the ugliness to stay or be more present than the positive then we become more like the ugliness and craziness. That’s why we need to focus on some positive so we can drown out that old ugly junk.

The positive is the sweet stuff. The byproduct of the ugly you have to dig for. For every negative you have to have a positive because the positive cancels out the negative just like algebra taught me.

Now, I know nothing can cancel out the pain of losing a love one. I have friends and family who have lost children. I can’t even begin to imagine the excruciating pain. So I’m not suggesting Algebra taught me how to erase or cancel out those feelings. They can’t be erased. They have to be lived through.

I’m really talking more about what we focus on. What we seek is what we will find. Norman Vincent Peale said…“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

For me, if I had continually thought about the pain and disappointment mother’s addiction caused in my life, I would be miserable. Instead I focused on the positive things that came out of it. Like the lessons I learned inadvertently.

If you have too many negatives you feel bad, angry, weighted down, disappointed and sad. You have to find the positives to cancel out those negatives. But I’m not okay with just balancing them out. I like to flood those negatives with a bunch of positives. Then I feel more joy and love in my heart.

So I focus on the positive sweet moments. Like Godwinks! I love Godwinks! I had two today. Yes, two! They give me great peace and joy!

I typed an email and after I sent it I went back to look at something and I noticed the word “I’ve” had changed to “mom.” Weird. That may not seem like it means too much. But those who really know me, know I have never referred to mother as “mom.” I just never did – we didn’t have that kind of a relationship. Mom is so intimate and to me signifies a deep mother daughter relationship. She was always Mother. But I thought about seeing that word and the fact it isn’t a word I ever type so why did it change “I’ve” to “mom? Then as I was reviewing some patient information, I went to check a date and the date was 2/26/15. Her birthdate! Right after the “mom” thing had just happened! Another Godwink! I believe she is letting me know she is okay. She’s happy in Heaven surrounded by loved ones. At peace. Surrounded by beauty. Maybe she feels like a “mom” up there. That makes my heart really joyful!

Yes, algebra changed my life! It has helped me live in the positive.

Now I say… “If you haven’t taken algebra, do it! It might change your life too!”

Finding the sweet in the crazy!

Kandy